This last week I completed my Teacher Training and now I am a 500 Hour Certified Yoga Teacher. So appropriate that I ended my training with a week on transitions. Not just asana transitions, but life’s transitions. How are we at Beginning’s, sustaining and ending’s? I’ve reviewed my life more this year than any other time in my life. In this year alone the up’s and down’s have been transforming and intense. I feel different, I see things differently and I have a different perspective on my life.
In the last year I have been through my spouse being severely injured. My car was totaled….that I had just completed payments on. I lost my job that I had been in for the last 16 years. And I have taught more yoga classes than I ever have. And through all of this I was in a 300 hour intensive Teacher Training course at the San Marcos School of Yoga.
I’m not going to lie, it’s been rough. The teacher training kept me focused. I was determined. I was not going to let life’s changes veer me off my course. I wanted to learn, change and grow. I have stretched far beyond my comfort zones.
So many emotions came up for me yesterday. It was truly cathartic. Yesterday brought closure to so many things that I had been through. My Teacher Christina Sell and Gioconda Parker in their recognition of my completion of the Intensive series helped me get the ending I wanted in so many things. It was a good ending. Filled with emotions that I could no longer contain. To be recognized and acknowledged by them was overwhelming. My heart burst and the joy was immense.
Finally I feel recognized for something good. So many times I teach, work and go about my business feeling as if I don’t count. That what I do doesn’t make any difference in the world. And to be recognized by teachers that I love and respect is what I have been longing for. I really needed this.
I have finally found my teachers. I have found a yoga home at San Marcos School of yoga. I have found my Yoga family with all of the yogis that I have come to know and love. I love my yoga family. I love all the people that I have spent time with at school.
Hearing about what others were going through made me feel that I had company along the journey that I was taking. So many up’s and down’s that life has handed to all of us. I am happy to not have been alone. I am grateful to have finally had the experience that I have been longing for my whole life.
For so long I have wanted to be in good company. I found that at San Marcos school of yoga. Everyone that I have spent time with there have been the most incredible, talented, competent and well educated people I have ever met. Every single time I have been I have been surrounded by excellence, highly trained and people who are at the top of their game. This alone forced me to stretch and grow far beyond what I knew I was capable of.
Not only did I learn from my teachers, I learned from my fellow yogis. I am so proud to have been with these people in my journey. So much laughter and joy. So much heart ache and pain. We’ve been through it all and bearing witness to each other’s growth. How incredibly rare and special this journey has been.
I truly feel as if the Universe supports me. The environment for learning was so conducive it was as if just by being in the room the teachings were being automatically transmitted into me. I’m thinking back on all the teachers that have participated.Christina Sell. Gioconda Parker. Manorma, Mary Young. Sam Rice. Highly intuitive, extremely knowledgeable, highly educated and completely amazing people. True Masters through and through.
I’m thinking about all the incredible yogis I spent time with. All of their amazing insights. All of their love and hugs. All the love and the laughter. All of the joy. The crying and the ‘fuck this shit’ moments. All of the great stories and sharings about students and yoga studios.
What a long journey. I traveled into some dark places within myself. Fear and anxiety sometimes took a hold of me to the point where I thought that I could not go any further. There was a destination I longed to reach. I wasn’t going to let anything hold me back. With all the bad there was so much good. This road could not be just simple and joyful in order for me to learn. This journey will never really be complete. I do feel I have reached a major milestone in my life. But I know that there will be other trainings. Nothing is planned as of yet, but I know that I will continue to learn and grow.
The teachings that I have received will change and evolve inside of me. I am forever changed by this experience. I’m not the same person I was when I started this training. I’m different. I can never return to the way things were. I wouldn’t want to.
So what is next? I’m done with training. I have no job (day job). I really don’t know what is going to happen. And I am o.k. with that. I do know that I love learning. I love my teachers. I love my fellow yogis at San Marcos School of Yoga. I’m happy to be home. I’m loving this day. I love that I’m in a huge transition in my life and that everything is up in the air.