June Newsletter- Apaigraha – Let it go!
Welcome to June! We are six months into the year, we are at the halfway point of 2015! This month we will be looking at Aparigraha – non-excess or non hoarding. Another way that this translates is to let it go.
In Iyengar’s a Light on Yoga, the passage speaks of Aparigraha in a non-hoarding way. To take more than what you need is like telling the Universe that you do not trust it to provide you with what you need. And to hoard can be interpreted as fear, fear of not having.
I am thankful and amazed at the timing of what I had planned to write on this month and the timing of recent events in my life. This month will really be about letting go and letting God, or trusting in the Universe for me. I had attended an intensive in April that was on contemplation. And I have been contemplating what I was going to write for two weeks now.
Every time something came bubbling up, instead of acting on that thing I have allowed it to unfold in a slow natural way. One of my teacher’s, Gioconda Parker, taught us about beginnings, sustaining and endings in the Contemplative Intensive. So I have been in contemplation about endings these last two weeks. How good am I at endings? How do I allow things to end? How can I let go?
On May 21st , after working 16 years for the same department in the Medical Center in Houston, my working relationship was ended. Initially, I was distraught. I cried a great deal, and then a sense of relief and liberation came over me. I was done and had been done for some time prior to the dissolution of my position. (I had done nothing wrong, restructuring, finances and other factors came into play for many of us sent on our way with severance packages on that day.)
I did think about what could I have done better, how could I have changed things. I couldn’t, there was nothing. Shoulding and coulding all over myself would not change my situation, as it never does when we could have, would have, should have. The fact is that my regular day job that was paying my bills and that is over and I need to figure out what I am going to do. How can I let go of the past so that I can be free to move into the future? What do I allow to come up for me so I can process the finality of this situation and move on?
I am not the only one suffering. During this time many have lost all during the floods these past weeks. And in that perspective of what is going on in Houston and other parts of Texas, my situation seems trivial and the only persons affected are me and my spouse. We have so much compared to others. So what now?
In this short desperately needed time off I have entered into contemplation, cooking and cleaning. I have taught classes at the gym and yoga studio. I have taught this past entire weekend at the 200-HR Teacher Training. I have been busy with school work from my 300-HR Teacher Training. I have meditated, practiced and journaled. I have played with the cats and enjoyed the weather and sunrises with coffee on my porch. It’s been real nice.
Yesterday evening I felt the time ticking knowing I can’t sustain this lifestyle of not working. I can’t have the things that I want without a job to pay for them. So I want, but can the things that I want be the things that I need. If so, how will the Universe provide? How can I let go and go with the natural flow of the Universe and allow this situation to unfold in a way that is better than what I can imagine for myself.How can I Inspire my students in ‘letting go’ all the while struggling to ‘let go and let God’ myself?
I do know that this situation has brought me the blessing of retreating. I really needed this time off. I really wanted this time off. I am grateful to have this time off. Surprisingly, I haven’t really been down about this at all. It almost seems as if something is at play here and I just don’t know what’s coming around the corner, and it feels like something good. I do look forward to the new experiences that this will bring me. As well I am happy for the time I need to figure out what I really want. I’m excited about the fresh, new and vital that will happen in the future.
I really wanted time to process this all before I shared. It’s hard to share when it’s fresh. I wanted to wait before I started the process of actively searching and speaking with others about opportunities. I feel like this experience has shown me how much I’ve matured in regards to how I am at endings. This ending I feel pretty good about, because I know the next beginning will be better.
My current schedule:
Available for fun, frivolity and yoga during the day!
Tuesday Night 7:30 PM Dynamic Fitness Pearland
Thursday Night 7:30 PM Dynamic Fitness Pearland
Saturday Joy Yoga Washington 7:30 AM, 9:00 AM
Sunday Joy Yoga Voss RD & Washington Ave 7:30 AM & 9:30 AM