Monthly Archives: August 2012

…….is it too weird that….

 So my alarm clock had been set in the past to a radio station that I like, yet when I’m not standing over the radio when it goes off in the morning all I get is a horrible static sound that is a very unsettling way to wake up in the morning. So I worked with my radio and just tuned it into a station that I can hear. I have no idea really what station it is except that they play classic rock. So every morning this past week I feel that I’ve been receiving messages about my day and how to prepare myself for my day through the songs that are playing when it goes off in the A.M.

O.K. I know that sounds insane. I am very very aware that if someone said that to me I’d report them, especially if they owned any firearms. To claim that one is receiving messages, not just any messages but divine messages or messages from Angels is too weird. In fact if someone told me that, I would not believe them. But…..it’s happening to me. I’m getting messages through songs from my guardian angels. I know, I know, that previous sentence it totally unbelievable, but it’s true. How do I know? I just do and it’s so hard to explain and it feels weird to post this.

So the reason why I believe that I’m receiving messages from angels is because I’ve been praying for it. I knew that this entire week would be difficult for me to say the least. I know that the next 7-8 months are going to be incredibly difficult. I’ll be refining and fine tuning attitudes, physical self, spiritual self and so on. I’ve been asking for divine guidance and intervention and I have reason to believe that the messages I’m receiving are meant for me and are coming in through the radio.

Example: I do my cards every Sunday in reference to the upcoming week ahead. Doing my cards is definitely a divinatory practice that I use to help prepare me for the week. I like setting myself up for success. When I can figure out what lies ahead then I feel that it helps me to steer myself in the right direction. I also feel like I am better able to make wise decisions based on the cards that come up. So those I do believe are messages in themselves to help me navigate the direction of my life for the greater good of the Universe.

But when I did my cards on Sunday I noticed a huge shift. Everyday day this week was to be filled with situations or should I say, opportunities, to fine tune me in standing in my power. Something I’m not good at. But the sooner I can learn the lesson the better off I will be.  So the lessons will get harder and more frequent, which will be emotionally difficult at times because I am dealing with past life issues and others egos, not one of my strengths.

So everyday this week as I have woken up to my alarm a song has been playing that I knew, just a sudden awareness that the message was meant for me and what the message meant.  Monday the song was ‘Been through the desert on a horse with no name’ but the part that was playing was the ‘La, lahh, la la la la…’ part, and I had the sudden awareness that it was going to be a barren and long day.

Tuesday’s song was ‘Crazy on you’ by Heart. And Tuesday was crazy to say the least. Yesterday’s song was “Cisco kid was a friend of mine…” reminding me that my boss was once a reliable source of support but since he has betrayed me and is not to be trusted. Today’s song was The Cars…”I don’t mind you coming here and wasting all my time…” this was to tell me that I should not get bothered or to show my annoyance at my boss/coworkers.

I know it sounds weird, but it is like when the song starts playing and I wake up I all of a sudden know how the day will be and the actions or inactions that I should take in regards to it. And I say “Thank you Angels!” Thank you angels for helping me, teaching me and guiding me with messages of divine guidance. I really appreciate all that you do for me. It’s really great that I have such a connection and I feel that the next step in this process will be to delve deeper into trying to rid myself of things that do not serve me so that I’m more open and aware of the messages and divine guidance that is being sent to me.

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Betrayal

Being betrayed, feeling betrayed or just thinking you’ve been betrayed is not fun to experience. The slew of emotions that overwhelm and overcome you are intense to say the least. I think that the theme of today is just that. It’s most hurtful when it is the people that are closest to you. Close friends, family and even supervisors and employers are not excluded to hurting the people that they love the most.

For the person that has been betrayed the emotions of anger and humiliation are most likey to be experienced. How one experiences emotions can great affect how a person reacts to or acts from emotions that one feels. Can you have this experience without reaction?

In my mind, my spiritual mind all has been forgiven and worked out. Yet I feel compelled to let others be aware of the affect that they have over me. Somehow that my personal experience will cause them to change. Or that the things that I feel will alter their behavior.

It’s unfortunate that we as humans are so unable to lift each other up and support each other. Am I unsupportive?


Habla Espanol?

So I have seen two psychics within the last month. With that being said I’m trying to learn spanish. I also need to lose weight. And I’ve been meditating and praying more in the morning. So many life changes happening right now, I’m ready to move all of this energy. But today I’m ready to block out the world and get some things done.


And then the beer blew up…..

Being anal retentive I pride myself on always being on task and always being right. I made what I consider to be a major blunder at work. This is hard ofr me to accept. Actually I was able to accept it easier than I usually would because of all the meditating and self work I’ve been doing the last year. Yesterday was pretty intense. When one makes a major mistake the realization of that mistake as it dawns is nothing short of a heart attack. My adrenaline shot through my body, heart raced and all the blood in my body drained from my face and into my feet. Sheer panick strikes through out the physical and mental system and you begin to try to make sense of “What just happened?”

Blame is useless at this point. All you can do with a mistake is move forward in hopes that all will be fixed and forgiven. Working later than usual and feeling exhausted as I was on the first day of my raw juice diet. Talk about suck. I couldn’t wait to leave and get home. Home was safe. The girls would be waiting for me and I couldn’t wait to be surrounded by their affections. Nice and safe in the comfort of my home and away from the troubles of the world. I’d be able to get home juice my dinner and slip into a lavender bath with candles and incense and allow my woes to be washed away.

It was Mondays like this I was super happy I worked hard all weekend to clean the entire house. I was ready to be home and smell the cleanliness. I had really made an effort to physically and spiritually clean the front room, kitchen and bathroom. I love walking into a clean house. And I couldn’t wait to open the front door and smell the essential oils and incense.

I get home and as I open the door the strong scent of beer wafts passed me. Heading towards the kitchen knowing but hoping beyond all hope that I would be wrong, but I wasn’t. Buck’s beer project had exploded all over my clean kitchen. I’m engulfed by anger immediately. True anger. Vengeful anger. Irate and irrational anger. And as I start to clean i am wondering what is it that the Universe have me learn from this experience. To be tolerant of others mistakes just as others have been tolerant of mine? i think so, but still.

I cleaned walls, cat food and cat water dishes, floors and rugs, tables and chairs and the floor is still sticky. I meditated a long time after cleaning. It calmed me down somewhat. At that point I was just too tired to be mad. I just wanted to go to sleep. I had nightmares. They were terrifying and I fought to awaken. I hadn’t had ghost dreams like that in a while. In my dream I was screaming for Buck to help me and he couldn’t. And in my waking life I realize that he can not help me. I can save myself. But how?


May I be cleansed……

The next five days will consist of a diet of morning juicing-kale,spinach, carrots, lemon, ginger, apple & pear. Hot Teas, bananas, peaches, romaine lettuce salads for lunch with tomatoes and balsalmic vinigarette and the dinner of juicing-kale,spinach, carrots, lemon, ginger, apple & pear.

So I have the cleansing of my innards down, how does one cleanse their mind?

Goddess Coventina may I be cleansed and detoxified!


Blessed Be! Me.

I attended a Space Clearing workshop last Saturday. It was good, I did learn some new tricks. But most exciting was knowing that I would soon begin purging what no longer served me as I cleared things physically, mentally, energetically and spiritually at home and at work. I feel a renewed sense of light all around me here at my work desk. Got up here extra early so I would not disturb anyone and I cleaned! Just walking into my space feels significantly different from what is lingering in the other areas of this Department. I’m blessed and breathing. I used several things, but I’m most happy about the ocean water with rose absolute that I used to bless my work space. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!


Ides of August

Stay vigilant and alert they say. Unusual planetary alignment will wreak havoc upon us today. I’m exhausted already. it appears that for the next 24 hours things will be uncertain. I guess it’s just one of those days where I will need to remember that nothing is permanent except for change. And that this too shall pass. i’m dreading coworkers who are unmindfully aware and who only look out for their best interest and has no regard for the universe and Divine flow of things. I hope I come out of this week unscathed and on top. I’m looking forward to celbrating this weekend.